@jackmackenroth: If I had kids I would name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete so when they misbehaved I would just hit them all at once.
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@Ohaiqtpie: On a poster in my math class "4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions" The sad thing is my first thought was "Oh good, I'm not alone!"
@OldUncleDaveO: If you are having anxiety over something you've said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
@bea_ker: Newsreader: Police are asking anyone with any information- Me: [shouting at TV] You lose 90% of your heat from your head