@WilliamAder: If I had known "cuties" were little oranges when my wife asked me to "bring a few home," I could have avoided these awkward introductions.
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@alisha_foley: Telling someone they can't be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they can't be happy because others have it better.
@NotthatAdamWest: Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger's engagement proves that not only is love blind, it's also deaf.
@BrettDruck: I may seem confident on the outside but deep down on the inside I remember every time I've accidentally leaned on a light switch.
@toastymoe: One of my co-workers just called the elevator a "vator". Anyways, long story short, this is my one phone call...