@WilliamAder: If I had known "cuties" were little oranges when my wife asked me to "bring a few home," I could have avoided these awkward introductions.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Sir_Strange: Women who don't even acknowledge your existence just want you to try harder. I recommend hiding naked in her closet with a block of cheese.
@ComedicBust: GF: What a beautiful weekend. Let's go exploring. Me: [eating Cheetos in my underwear- looks directly at the camera]
@StarWarsProblms: Vader: I'll teach you the Death Star's power Leia: By blowing up my planet? Vader: By showing you a PowerPoint presentation Leia: NOOO!!!