@AGStr8upNinja: If I had the power to control people's minds like Professor Xavier I'd probably just make them get me snacks.
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@UNTRESOR: The average time it takes for an elderly woman to get her ringing cellphone out of her purse is 11 days.
@AristotlesNZ: Don't worry, dude, You're fine. I'm pretty sure you need a personality first before it can have a disorder.
@LorieGZ: Getting a snowstorm today. They said it would start around noon, it's now 12:02, so already the meteorologists were wrong.
@PowKapowBoom: My cat is stuck in a Cheeto bag and I'm really pissed that I didn't think of that first.