@DonovanConvery: If I had the power to time travel, I would mostly just use it to stop past me from eating stuff from the fridge that I'd like to eat now.
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@Sickayduh: [Touring Italy] Guide: Bathroom anyone? Me: I peed at the Tower of Pizza Guide: That's Pisa Me: Sorry. I took a pisa at the Tower of Pizza
@OhNoSheTwitnt: [taking communion at church] I'm a recovering alcoholic do you have any actual blood?
@SteveSackington: If you say "cash money" around me, Don't act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
@kcmoore51: Does everyone have that ONE follower who will Fav the hell outta every RT...but wouldn't even piss on your own tweets if they were on fire?
@laurenmacdonald: Americans should be asking Santa for better presidential candidates and nothing else.
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