@ColoChiver: If I had to guess where everything went wrong, I'd have to say it was the day I learned "elemenopee" wasn't one awesome letter.
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@slimmy_shady: If E.T. is making your bicycle fly through the sky, why do you still have to pedal?
@clindsaysway: Sleeping Beauty taught me that: 1. I'm not the laziest girl in the land 2. If you sleep long enough, strange men break in & do stuff to you.
@moose_chocolate: I, put commas, in, weird places, so that, you, read, my tweets, like William, Shatner.
@david8hughes: [me as a cop] Me: Mrs Hill? Woman: yes Me: it's Ms Hill now Woman: huh Me: ur husbands dead Woman: h-how? Me [hand on her shoulder]: he died