@ninatreemonkey: If I had two bathrooms I'd tell everyone someone died in one, I ain't tryna clean two bathrooms
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@T_Bonezzz: SURVIVAL TIP If a gummy bear is chasing you, curl up like a ball and pretend you're stoned
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Palin: I'm seriously considering a presidential run. Reporter: Do you even know what the word seriously means? Palin: Don't refudiate me.
@carlyken: I'm trying to teach my toddler how to headbang but he's pissed because he wants a bottle. I told him to save that anger for the mosh pit.