@yonewt: If I had wings, I'd spread them and soar like an eagle for about ten minutes then space out on a phone wire with these fat pigeons
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@SteveKoehler22: A five year old girl is headed to the National Spelling Bee finals. And I just had to use autocorrect to spell "embarrassed" I'm so emb-
@SirEviscerate: Sorry the edible underwear weren't edible anymore by the time you tried to eat them. It was a long drive to your apartment.
@cluedont: I was just about to go and remind my neighbour to slam all of his car doors as many times as possible in five minutes, but there's no need.