@TheDairylandDon: If I hear people screaming, I always go check on them. Not because I'm nosy or some kind of hero. There might be ice cream.
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@ceejoyner: OFFICER DOWN I REPEAT WE HAVE AN OFFICER DOWN. I'm fine just down for whatever. Dancing or something fun.
@TheBoydP: Marriage tip: If your wife says “I didn’t do it” what she means is “You did it”. Accept it and don’t worry that you don't remember doing it.
@astutenewf: M: I can't access Twitter IT: We blocked twitter M: What am I supposed to do with this computer now? IT: Work? M: Who hurt you?