@SortaBad: If I hear someone crying I immediately cry louder to establish myself as the dominant sad person in the room
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@Fickle_Filly: The Five Stages of Christmas Shopping Grief: - denial - anger - strong language - moderate violence - a lifetime ban from Toys R Us
@petemandik: Scientists report global context shortage. "I guess I'll have flan," some scientist said, totally out of context.
@TheAlexNevil: 4 said he went potty and I asked if it was number one or number two. He said number 7, and now I'm terrified to go into the bathroom.