@SortaBad: If I hear someone crying I immediately cry louder to establish myself as the dominant sad person in the room
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@DirtMcTurd: I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes
@PinkCamoTO: Trainer: What's the most intense part of your work out? Me: Getting into my sports bra.
@Monicann86: I wish todays youth had to endure the humiliation of having your dad pick up the landline phone and start dialing while you're talking on it