@TitansHomer: Just saw a guy at the gym with only 1 arm. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is? Seriously, I don't know, I'm leaving...

@AaronFullerton: PET PEEVE: Why do we call them baby names? They're HUMAN NAMES. They don't expire as you grow up.

@Darlainky: Nice try little pine tree air freshener, but this gas station restroom needs the efforts of an entire forest.

@jjlob7: I don't need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hands. :/

@TheToddWilliams: COP: Do you know why I pulled you over? ME: I'm not sure. Over.