@KyleMcDowell86: If I learned anything from Aladdin it was that if u just keep lying to a girl eventually u will get to marry her and live at her dad's house
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@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None - it's a hardware problem.
@simonblackwell: At the polling station. Bodes well for Labour - loads of young people here. Or I might possibly be at the wrong primary school.
@noxxhell: When Doves get married in a parallel universe they release screaming humans from the cage.