@RuinMyWeek: If I learned anything from Peter Pan, it's that I can leave my dog to watch my kids while I go out and party.
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@MatCro: CENTAUR: My dad slept with a horse MINOTAUR: My mum slept with a bull PIGOTAUR: My dad was Prime Minister.
@underchilde: I’m just going to keep telling people they’re pretty until someone offers to pay for my laser eye surgery.
@cambuslad: You know you're getting old when you scroll down the birthday drop down menu ... And it starts going into Roman Numerals.
@TribalSpaceCat: Me: Do you have any wrongdog? "Ugh fine what's wrongdog" Me: thank you so much for asking I'm doing terrible