@RuinMyWeek: If I learned anything from Peter Pan, it's that I can leave my dog to watch my kids while I go out and party.
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@junejuly12: People who hum in public must be blissfully unaware of how close to death they are at all times
@Jill_Doe_: There are few problems in life that can't be sorted by slowing down, taking a deep breath, and THEN drawing winged eyeliner on a raccoon.
@KalvinMacleod: As the pair of scissors steps up to the starting line, the other runners quickly realize that this race just got a whole lot more dangerous.