@lenigs17: If I liked one of your pics from 12 weeks ago, doesn't mean I'm stalking you...It just means you haven't looked nice in awhile
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@rickygervais: Jesus died for our sins. But then he came back to life. Pretty sure that breaks the deal.
@madeleinedoux: "the pizza boy is here" It's time, I thought, cocking my shotgun. I was sending this half pizza half man abomination straight back to hell
@superdadatron: I'm gonna cook tons of bacon, crush it up and sell it for extra money to support my family. Bacon Bad
@ShaunRightNow: I'll always remember the day my wife said "yes" to my proposal. And I'll never forget that it was the last thing we ever agreed on.