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@BlindVigil: If I lived in Alabama, I'd name my daughter, 'Banjo-lina".
@Jack_Wagon1: Ironic... is having a coke machine reject your dollar bill for it being rolled up to many times.
@ThisOneSayz: Boss: this project is moving along at a snail's pace!!
Todd the snail: This is bullshit
*spends 3hrs storming out of meeting*
@WilliamAder: Remember when we thought "Any kid can grow up to be President" was a good thing?
@Hobo_Splendido: About to go for a run, because shoplifting
@BooFricketyHoo: My plan to disappoint everyone I've ever known is exceeding my expectations.