@patnspankme: If I lived in England I would approach my boss on payday and say "pound me."
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@MrsMikePatton: My boyfriend got pissed because I didn't swallow. Is it my fault I have a nut allergy?
@JayUhOh: Five chickens leave Topeka traveling west at 25 mph. Please help me find them chickens. Those are my chickens.
@SamTR7: *Spider exam: How to scare people out of their mind* ✘ Fly ✘ Breathe fire ✔ Sit still on the ceiling and mind your own business