@patnspankme: If I lived in England I would approach my boss on payday and say "pound me."
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@CalebTenenbaum: If a 99lb girl eats a 1lb plate of nachos is she technically 1% nachos? I think I'm on to something...
@gabemakesmusic: My 5 year plan is to get an amp for my bass. That fish sure does love his energy drinks
@IamEveryDayPpl: Him: "Are you single?" Me: *flashes back to that time Wil Wheaton RTd me and left me at the top of his TL all night* "It's complicated..."