@SortaBad: If I lost a leg in an accident the worst part would be never being able to flush a public toilet again
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@Slims_Ramblings: First Date: "So, tell me something no one else knows about you." Well, my wife thinks I'm at the movies and you think I'm single.
@dumbdora77: News:"a black bear hovered over a convenience store in central Florida for more than seven hours..." They have hover bears? jealous again
@sixfootcandy: (Breaks car window to save a dog) Guy: I'm in the car! Me: Yeah but it's hot Him: The AC is on! Me: Can I get in? It's really hot out here.