@SortaBad: If I lost a leg in an accident the worst part would be never being able to flush a public toilet again
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@ibid78: Birds do it, bees do it. Even educated fleas do it. Let's do it, let's fly headfirst into a plate glass window.
@thongbeard: Just texted her "thanks for choking on me" I meant "checking" but kinda curious what the response is gonna be.
@AngelaEhh: Why are people giving something up for lint? I'm sweeping that shit up every day if you want some more.
@lorigonzalez28: Pinterest could've been an amazing dating site. If the project ideas came with men to do them, there wouldn't be a single cat lady left.