@SortaBad: If I lost a leg in an accident the worst part would be never being able to flush a public toilet again
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@orange_rhymer: Cashier: how old r u? Me:*holding beer nervously* uuh 21 Cashier:*shaking his head sadly as he pulls Trix out of my cart* Trix are for kids.
@DurtMcHurtt: Goal as a white guy 1)Pay taxes 2)Never say anything that may come across as racist 3)Find something clever to do with my arms when I dance.
@DrDogMD: Patient: Doc, my stomach is killing me. DR DOG: *scratches chin* Have you tried eating grass?