@meatballwizard: If I notice an unfinished jigsaw puzzle at someone's house, I eat a few pieces.
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@NoogsCorner: Women always complain about periods. Talk to me when ovaries become supersensitive, hang in a thin sac and you accidentally sit on them.
@delusionaliam: "Hey! check out my new ink" *removes shirt, stands naked* "Dude!, I don't see anything" "It's invisible ink"
@pharmasean: If youre giving mouth-to-mouth, and you don’t want to get germs, you can put a harmonica between your lips and the victim’s