@KattsDogma: If I owned a moving company, I'd call it 'Van Gogh.'
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@pinupteacher: [speed dating] Anyway, do you have a baby hedgehog? "No." *I take a deep breath and roll my eyes* [timer beeps]
@MomOnFire: H: Something's wrong with you. M: Yes. H: No, like for real. M: Yes, I told you that from day one. H: But you were kidding... M: Haha, no.
@Scott_A_Gilmore: Few people know that inventor of the car alarm Enrico Irritanti never owned an automobile. He did, however, passionately hate his neighbors.
@FuckabillyRex: If you didn't wanna see 157 pictures of me eating cake, you shouldn't have put me in charge of the PowerPoint presentation, boss.