@robfee: If I owned a pet store Id put a different rat in the turtle cage every night just to see if any of the turtles knew karate the next morning.
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@Brampersandon_: My dad could kick ur dads ass! Um have u seen my dad Hes a big guy huh? No really have u seen him? He left when I was 9 & never came back
@allthenachos: We're going to build a great wall to keep the inspirational tweets out. And Facebook is going to pay for it. Make Twitter Great Again.
@omically: saying "we won" after watching a sports game is like saying "we played really well" after watching a concert
@jeffpfeifer66: Moaning and gasping "Give it to me baby!" during a prostate exam will leave you looking for a new doctor. Anybody know one?