@Robski_Boy: If I reach 700 followers, I'm gonna tweet naked for the next hour. Won't do much for you guys, but it'll certainly liven up Starbucks.
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@audipenny: friend: wish you were here! me, abruptly stopping whatever I'm doing and captaining a speedboat approaching your house: oh really
@SwedishCanary: Based on the amount of laundry I did today I have to assume there are people living in this house I haven't met yet.
@figgled: Real women have curves!!! Real women have spirals!!! Real women are plump and covered in a creamy sauce wait nope thinkin of pasta