@Robski_Boy: If I reach 700 followers, I'm gonna tweet naked for the next hour. Won't do much for you guys, but it'll certainly liven up Starbucks.
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@PajamaStew: Twitter is the only place where it's actually BORING to discover that you are being followed by hundreds of robots.
@garyfromteenmom: [first date] ok dont let them know i stalked them online them: my aunt-- me: theresa or sharon
@SteveSuckington: Me: Hello darkness my old friend Darkness: please stop calling me that. My name is Susan
@daemonic3: [rolls down car window] "Sir there's a baby on your roof!" Wait, if the baby is there... [sees coffee strapped in car seat] Oh thank god!