@Reverend_Scott: If I really wanted to end my life I'd probably do it by wearing a Star Trek uniform to the Star Wars Force Awakens premier.
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@Shock_Monster: If I could go back in time & change any event that would alter the course of history: I probably wouldn't have super sized that fry order.
@Vodkantots: I really hope my family doesn't give me a urinal cake again for my birthday this year.
@mrjohntofu: My signature move is parking closely to the sports car at the end of the lot taking up four spaces.
@Mickey_McCauley: Flirtation tip: glue a dead wasp to your hand before the date, then snatch at the air beside her head and show her the wasp. Say "close one"