@_davidlucas_: If I reject your call the first two times, ring me again. I'm really just testing your resolve.
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@daniel_shaw: Personal trainer said we're going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese. He hates me.
@ElleOhHell: "Excuse me, waiter? Can I get a doggy bag" "Sorry ma'am, we only have Doge bags." Much leftovers So pasta Very taking home Wow reheat at 350
@bencoffeehall: Each year an average of 10 people are killed by sharks while 100 people die being stepped on by cows. Where's Cow Week, Discovery Channel?!
@the_tsai_guy: People who tie their sweaters around their necks look like they were giving somebody a piggyback ride before the person got Raptured.