@_davidlucas_: If I reject your call the first two times, ring me again. I'm really just testing your resolve.
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@Marcmywords2: Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ............no matter how magnificent they look.
@FatherWithTwins: Cashier: Need to see some ID Me: You get a lot of 20yo guys buying tampons, diapers, grapes & whiskey? Cashier: Yup Me: Ok, here you go then
@Iwriteforcats: [Google Search History] 1. Do raccoons like to cuddle? 2. What does rabies smell like? 3. I can't feel my face.
@HatfieldAnne: “Keep pumping until something happens.” -Home Depot guy teaching me to prime the snow blower says the first thing I've understood.