@_davidlucas_: If I reject your call the first two times, ring me again. I'm really just testing your resolve.
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@FeelParmesan: *On a first date. Her: I'm just tired of all the games Me: *slowly slides the deck of UNO cards back in my coat pocket
@Tierno158: When I refer to kids as "Snot-dripping, germ-spreading spawns of Satan" I hope you realize I'm not referring specifically to YOUR children.
@trojansauce: [watching the little mermaid] NEPHEW: mermaids arent real SISTER: not in front of your uncle- ME *slamming down my beer* I KNOW WHAT I SEEN
@DaddyJew: Gf: is it in? Me: I think its in Gf: nothing's happening Me: give it a sec Gf: take it out & put it back in M: ugh fine *reinserts DVD*