@JoshontheGo: If I said I was the king of the jungle, I'd be lion to you.
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@Underchilde: Hey, remember when AT&T told you to "reach out and touch someone" and you ended up with that restraining order? Good times!
@jwoodham: Much like the giant panda and the snow leopard, the 20-something white girl without a wrist tattoo is now an endangered species.
@ValeeGrrl: Hey, parents of an only child considering having one more, know that I just split an M&M in half. An M&M. In half.
@PaperWash: [ouija board] me: are there any spirits with us? Speak now ouija board: H E L L O F R O M T H E O T H E R S I D E me: ....please stop