@OpenClassMX: If I say I love you, don't read too much into it. I just told this cheesecake that I love it, too.
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@bourgeoisalien: I sign all my coworker's birthday cards, "Please know, this does not mean we're friends" just to avoid any future awkwardness.
@SergioValenCo: ''You will die alone.'' I hate fortune cookies. Wait! This is a note from my mom!
@Dutch_50: Seems I can never find good brussels sprouts at the store, so I decided to grow them myself. Turns out I don't like brussels sprouts.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: My new yoga instructor's name is Matt so I called him "Yoga Matt" & he said "yeah, don't ever call me that". Yoga Matt isn't very zen.