Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!

@The_Sculptress: If I see someone stumble, catch themselves, & madly start looking about to see if anyone saw, I always make sure I make direct eye contact.

If I see someone stumble, catch themselves, & madly start looking about to see if anyone saw, I always make sure I make direct eye contact.
57 comments

COMMENTS

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

@daemonic3: 911: What's your emergency? "I put the Ford in affordable housing." 911: Are you flirting? "No I crashed into some apartments. SEND HELP"

1

@Bizarro_Mark: If the sprayer in the sink can't get it off and the dishwasher can't get it off then I assume it's just meant to be a part of the pan.

120

@LivibelsDada: You know you're too drunk to drive when you swerve to miss a tree then realise it was your air freshener.

141

@Home_Halfway: WHAT DO WE WANT?! Follow-up questions! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? OH HELL YEAH THAT'S THE STUFF

162

@Laser_Cat: America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy's capital.

2
↑