@The_Sculptress: If I see someone stumble, catch themselves, & madly start looking about to see if anyone saw, I always make sure I make direct eye contact.
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@KeetPotato: doctor: "is there anything that runs in the family?" wife: "hm not really" me: "the dog jogs a lot"
@theyearofelan: Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?
@AwsomeHairDay: If i had to guess, i would guess that the number one search word on Bing is Google.
@caliluvgirl77: [first date] Boy: so where are you from? Me: [points to all you can eat sign] I live here now.
@KenJennings: REAL '90s kids will recognize this! ---> Current unemployment.
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