@bossybutfair: If I see under 30s getting married, I want to kiss them for their optimism and punch them for their stupidity.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@1followernodad: If I had gone to Rydell High, I would have walked right up to Rizzo and asked, "Rizzo? Is that short for Chorizzo?"
@MikeBigby: *Belle falls in love with Beast* Everyone: STOCKHOLM SYNDROME!! Called it! *Belle speaks to furniture* Everyone: this is fine
@PaperWash: [while titanic is sinking] me: [mouth full of shrimp at the buffet] I can't believe no one is eating these lol
@Reverend_Scott: Carl: Perfect weather tonight. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: Butterflies taste with their feet. Me: Fair enough.