@designersays: If I show you a picture on my phone and you start scrolling, I'm gonna stab you.
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@aka_fatman: "My wife and I are SO in love. Always finishing each other's..." (silence) (silence) *Russian accent* "You give me Green Card now, yes?"
@yoyoha: I just saw a commercial that invited me to watch more of it on the internet! Bc That's the problem w/commercials! They're not long enough!
@abbycohenwl: how to have good hair: - have bad hair - walk around like you have that hair on purpose