@designersays: If I show you a picture on my phone and you start scrolling, I'm gonna stab you.
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@KateWhineHall: Until I had kids I didn't realize that "bouncing off the walls" was actually a literal statement.
@Arr: The reason cats are so pissy is they're God's perfect killing machines but they only weigh 8lbs and we keep picking them up and kissing them
@kellymcc0y: When someone spaces out their "ha ha ha's" in a text I read it in Count Dracula's voice