@FillWerrell: If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knees to chest damnit! KNEES TO CHEST
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@BillyYvonne: Two eggs, some bacon, and a piece of toast walk into a bar. The bartender says, hey! We don't serve breakfast here. #Tellyourworstjoke
@SondraDeeMe: [party] ME: I'm uncomfortable BF: Just mingle ME: Do I introduce myself? BF: We're at your family reunion
@LaziestCanine: First date: [ok, don't let her know you're a t-rex] Her: I absolutely love it when guys open the car door for me Me: Shit.