@FillWerrell: If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knees to chest damnit! KNEES TO CHEST
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@thatUPSdude: Turns out cops get really pissed if you slip out of your handcuffs even if you say "Ta-Da" when you do.
@DanKCharnley: [1st day as undercover cop] *approaches drugdealer* Me: "Yes hello I'd like to purchase one crack and two marijuanas please!" *gets stabbed*
@Darlainky: Grim Reaper: You know why I'm here. Me: Heavy drinking? Unhealthy diet? Texting and driving? GR: You should've forwarded that chain email.