@pinupteacher: My boss is basically Ursula from The Little Mermaid. Deceitful, selfish, conniving, wears too much make up, is an octopus.
@primawesome: I'd give these pigeons some bread but they'd probably just spend it on drugs.
@EndhooS: [1st date, don't let her know you're a panda]
"Do u mind if I ask how you got the um *gestures at eyes*
These? I..*rubs neck* cage fighting
@notsosupermom_: "Fake news," I whisper to myself, as the scale shows I gained another pound.
@gerryhallcomedy: Two years ago I became a proud father. My son is 6, but he was kinda lame those first four years.
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