@underchilde: If I tell you I'm "breaking out the fine china," I just mean the expensive paper plates.
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@IamJackBoot: Bugs Bunny taught me my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.
@GrantTanaka: Shoutout to the wife for stacking her shampoo bottles in the shower like she's on her last 3 turns on Jenga.
@jngraphs: Another normal evening Cook food - 30 minutes Eat it - 5 minutes Check Facebook - 1 minute Check Twitter - 8 hours