@ShrinkMedia: If I throw my son a baseball, he drops it. A football, he fumbles. But if I toss him a cell phone, my man has a sick one handed, no look.
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@VaDawn13: I have seagull managers. They swoop in, screech like hell, shit all over everything, then fly away.
@MrJohnNorris: WHEN I SEE ALL CAPS I READ LIKE THE PERSON IS TALKING RIGHT BY A JET ENGINE, TELLING A CIA AGENT THAT HIS PLAN WON'T WORK...IT'S TOO RISKY
@Dani_Feld: What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich? What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth?
@slimmy_shady: This chick last night told me to do her like her ex husband so I drained her bank accounts and banged her sister