@ShrinkMedia: If I throw my son a baseball, he drops it. A football, he fumbles. But if I toss him a cell phone, my man has a sick one handed, no look.
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@bea_ker: [date slides her top down her shoulder to show me a scar] I got this surfing [I show her my grotesque balls] I was born like this I think
@gylertagan: [Property Brothers] Turns out all the electrical wires in this house are Twizzlers so we're looking at another $3000 added to the budget