@ShrinkMedia: If I wake and then I bake, I pray The Lord for chocolate cake. Amen.
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@PaigeKellerman: Parenting is having your kids reject everything you cook, and then watching the 2yo eat a dog treat and ask for another.
@AmberTozer: Girl: Gonna keep having sex with this guy until he changes for me Guy: Can't believe she keeps having sex w/me I better not change a thing
@mydmac: Diet diary, day 3 I am so proud of myself, I refused to eat the birthday cake. But the cup cakes were amazing.
@JohnLyonTweets: Point of etiquette: When attending a chainsaw massacre, don’t spend the entire time chainsawing one person. Get out there and mangle.