@owlcity: If I walk you home and kiss you goodnight, a simple thank you will suffice. None of this calling the cops crap.
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@Brianhopecomedy: On my 5 year old's report card it said, "He is encouraged to ask more questions". ARE YOU KIDDING ME.
@DadandBuried: *putting kid to bed* Me: Goodnight, buddy, I love you. Sleep tight. 7yo: Dad, you have to make sugar cookies to bring to class tomorrow. Goodnight!
@NervousJr: my drafts folder is a lot like all of my exes. they totally made sense in my head at the time, but now I cringe when I look at them.