@owlcity: If I walk you home and kiss you goodnight, a simple thank you will suffice. None of this calling the cops crap.
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@sixfootcandy: [camping] Him: Did you eat the last s'more? Me: No. Him: You're lying. Me: How do you know? Him: Your pants are literally on fire.
@Cravin4: Marital Law & Martial Law while look similar have very different meanings... .. Except at my house.
@mattZillaaaa: Tomorrow is my company's office holiday potluck. I really hope they like the french fries I found between my car seat