@CelebrityChez: If I was a drunk superhero, I'm pretty sure I'd be "I Love You Man"
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@SharkJelly: *I cycle off mt Rushmore and fall to my death but my bicycle lands on the end of Lincolns nose and makes a perfect pair of reading glasses*
@Vodkantots: 9: My teacher doesn't wear makeup like you do. I guess she doesn't need it because she's younger. Me: Get out of the car.
@dril: the neighborhood teens have left so many burning bags of garbage on my lawn that everyone thinks that this is the place you burn garbage now