@CelebrityChez: If I was a drunk superhero, I'm pretty sure I'd be "I Love You Man"
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@TheSharona06: I'm amazed they make so many cars without turn signals. Seems like that would be a requirement on a vehicle.
@Neauxpe: A bunch of black dudes were standing in front of my gardening equipment. Bros before hoes.
@SteveDutzy: *logs on Facebook IT'S YOUR OLD HIGH SCHOOL BULLY'S BIRTHDAY TODAY! *logs off WAIT COME BACK! YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT YOUR EX'S ENGAGEMENT!