@stupidityHQ: If I was a germ, I'd probably be from the 0.01% that Purell can not kill.
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@Jandalize: Horrifically awaiting the day all the shampoo bottles in my shower decide to squeeze me back.
@Reverend_Scott: Dinosaur 911: what's ur emergency Dinosaur: A FIREBALL IN THE SKY IS FLYIN AT US Dinosaur 911: is it the sun Dinosaur: haha probably. bye
@iwearaonesie: "you yelled 'this is not my daddy!' when i picked you up to leave the store. you're lucky i let you live" -how dad signs my birthday cards
@elle91: In 3rd grade the bus driver missed my house but I was too embarrassed to say anything so I got off at the last stop and started a new life.