@yoyoha: If I was a marriage counselor I would just make the couple look at a dating website for 20 minutes.
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@KKAlThani: If "Bieber fever" is when a Bieber song comes on the radio & you start throwing up & stabbing yourself, then yes I had Bieber fever once.
@Ygrene: [my coffin lowering into the grave] wait guys shouldn’t I be dead [coffin starts lowering faster]
@FrenulumBreve: ME: [licking lips in anticipation] I'm nervous. I've never done a bungee jump before. INSTRUCTOR: don't lick my lips again.
@dmc1138: "How much to go into this haunted house?" "Sir, this is the Church of Scientology." "Ooh...Sounds scary! One ticket please!"