@weinerdog4life: If I was a police sketch artist I would be like "is this the guy?" And they would be like "nope that's a barn" because I can only draw barns
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@SaraMansford: The only way I'd be scared of a ghost is if one was coming at me wearing a fitted sheet that I thought I'd have to eventually fold.
@yenniwhite: Parenting goals before having kids: make tons of blanket forts, never lose your temper, appreciate every minute. After: sit down.