@LuvPug: If I was a pug, nobody would give me funny looks for slobbering in public or eating food off the floor.
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@DsTwitz: If guys were smart they would forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls buying frozen dinners and cat food.
@tweetingdouche: Does anyone know how the lady reacted when Van Gogh gave her his ear? Was it positive? Cause I'm running out of ideas for gifts.
@AimeeHelene1: Over all these years, you'd think I'd remember how important the "L" in clock is...especially when asking mom if I can borrow dad's.
@elle91: Got fired from the duty free store for never showing up which is very misleading and also bullshit.