@Michael_Erhart: If I was a quotation mark, I'd be a single quotation mark.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My 4 year old is handing me one grape to wash at a time so breakfast should be served around midnight.
@stephenjmolloy: Doctor: "I need to draw some blood." Me: "Okay." Doctor: "Do you have a red crayon I could borrow?"
@Playing_Dad: I put the tomatos and the ketchup right next to each other in my refrigerator just so all the food knows I have no mercy
@mikejanson2: Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow? A: You look for the fresh prints! I'll show myself out y'all