@Michael_Erhart: If I was a quotation mark, I'd be a single quotation mark.
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@Cyd10e: If every day is a gift, I'd have to say today was a Fruitcake from Last Year Day. Recycled, disappointing and held together by booze.
@WildeThingy: [revenge plan] *invent miniaturisation machine. *shrink to tiny size. *crawl all over sleeping spider's face.
@ClichedOut: Boss: Someone's been cutting corners. Me: Hey, that's unfair. Edward Scissorhands: (acting nonchalant) Yeah, I noticed that, too.