@bourgeoisalien: If I was a vampire, pretty sure I'd find a way to cover blood in cheese.
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@TheDairylandDon: Irish I was a lil bit smaller. Irish I was a leprechaun baller. Irish I had a shamrock & a hat, & endless gold coins in a big black cauldron
@VeganZebra: [after putting a fake mustache on an elephant] FRIEND: You seen my elephant? ME: no FRIEND: [eyeing elephant] Maybe this fine gentleman has
@Parentpains: She said she was burning with desire, so I threw a bucket of water at her. Dating is bullshit.
@NathanBgood: They take Opposite Day seriously here at El Sol. I love sushi/getting paid to eat, but the dead mariachi band is something of a mood-killer.