@bourgeoisalien: If I was a vampire, pretty sure I'd find a way to cover blood in cheese.
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@ericsshadow: Went to Costco for eggs. Walked out with a toaster oven, an 80 inch 4K TV, minus 1 child and no eggs.
@AndyAsAdjective: *sips some coffee & interrupts break room conversation* "Technically we're all under the weather today unless you're an astronaut in orbit"
@SarcasticCharm: I now know I drink too much. I walked out on my deck and swear I heard a mosquito yell out to his all his friends that the bar just opened.
@imallwritecom: Hey people who say "look at our new baby", thanks for clarifying that because my initial reaction was to ask where you got the used baby