@shesxridiculous: If I was a waitress, I would plant fake engagement rings in every girls champagne glass, just to watch the boyfriends panic.
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@Barack_and_Joe: When your homie hyped you up to talk to a girl and you look back one last time before risking it all.
@ch000ch: u could put a horse in a time machine and send it to any era and the horse's life would literally be the same
@SteveHofstetter: Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones. Just what you want in a phone that sets itself on fire - to be water resistant.
@junejuly12: *plans eclipse viewing party* *buys special glasses* *gets plenty of snacks and drinks* *wakes up to pouring rain* *goes back to sleep*