@explodingboy_: If I was an origami penguin, where would I hide?
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@SortaSarcastic: What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don't even know what I'm doing with the rest of this tweet...
@flashember: [to wife on phone] yes spend all our life savings on honey W: but- PLS JUST DO IT *ends phonecall* BEAR [holding gun to my head]: u did good
@KalvinMacleod: GENIE: and for your first wish? ME: I wish that the end of every bag of chips was the start of another GENIE: holy shit!