@koalaslament: if I was ever in prison I'd quickly assert dominance by giving everyone a fabulous makeover
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@david8hughes: Her ankles were strong & sturdy, keeping her feet attached to her legs at all times. She had the eyebrows of a livid mechanic.
@stephenjmolloy: Wife: "How did your first day as a lifeguard go?" Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."
@jokeymcjokeface: I wonder if people who live on the sun are just as excited about the eclipse as those on earth..