@quikkim: If I was named Edward Normus, I'd use my first name's initial and my last name as much as I possibly could.
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@roostermustache: Him: my gf left me Me: theres plenty of fish in the sea Him: yeah but- Me: also a squirrel Him: ...what Me: and a sponge in a pineapple
@CulturedRuffian: Thankful public education taught us Algebra instead of how to do taxes. Because 2 things are certain: 1) Death 2) The Pythagorean Theorem
@squirrel74wkgn: (Age 22) *chugs bottle of water* Let's shoot some more hoops! (Age 42) *chugs bottle of water* I gotta pee.
@ericsshadow: CNN: President Obama Saves The Life Of A Choking Child. FOX: Failed President Obama Tries To Take Jobs Away From Hard Working EMS Workers.