@cluedont: If I was Phil Collins I'd rub my belly after every meal and say 'I'm Full Collins', then insist everyone either laughed or left my house.
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@Sorrowscopes: Libra: You wake up fastened to a wooden stake. People in goat masks are dancing around a bonfire. We'll be honest. Things don’t look good.
@hipsterocracy: People shit on Columbus like they've never knocked on the wrong door and then murdered the people inside and lived there.
@outsmartedmommy: The doctor told me I need to rest so I dropped the kids off at his office & now he won't stop calling me as if that's going to help me rest.