@kristikat7: If I was Snow White you'd never be able to kill me with an apple...you'd have to poison an eclair or something...
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@deegeemindi: If someone got my name tattooed on them I'd break up with them to prove it was a bad idea.
@ElgatoEsmio: [An old thermometer breaks scattering mercury beads all over the floor] “Get out of here, NOW!" “Why?” “HAVEN'T U SEEN TERMINATOR 2?”
@NateMorrising: He stole my heart, so I stole his last name. Is the slogan of a very famous body parts and new ID shop in Mexico.
@flashember: [Stock market crashes] "Oh no, I better check on my investments!" *opens cupboard over top of the sink* [1000s of Shrek dvds fall out]