@kristikat7: If I was Snow White you'd never be able to kill me with an apple...you'd have to poison an eclair or something...
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@stephenjmolloy: [Trying to impress a girl on a date] Me: "Not to brag but I'm getting Windows 10 for free."
@TheCatWhisprer: [texting] WIFE: need to talk when u get home ME: about what WIFE: too much to text just wait till u get home ME: *never goes home*
@internetluke: My work day - 8:00-11:30 - wonder what I'll eat for lunch today 11:30 - 12:00 - eat lunch 12:00 - 4:30 - Damn lunch was good.