@bourgeoisalien: If I was the editor of Vogue, I'd just put an actual skeleton on the cover with the headline, "Feel bad yet? You should, Fatty."
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@Sickayduh: Her: I think you're getting too into those Hobbit movies Me: *stops gluing a beard on the baby* what?
@Home_Halfway: "I'm gonna make a cool new social media site for college kids, but only for a few years. Then it'll be a mom scrapbook" ~ Mark Zuckerberg
@sucittaM: My wife thinks I'm stupid for using Twitter so much. But I think she's stupid for marrying me, so I think we all know who won this argument.
@novicefather: I just steam cleaned my carpets and wondered how difficult a homicide would be to clean up.