@wolfpupy: if i was the one who drove the titanic i bet i could have hit at least 3 ice bergs before it sank
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@jwoodham: Before I do anything important, I always ask myself "would this gain house points for Gryffindor or lose house points for Gryffindor?"
@velvettusk: My dog is coming home from surgery today and I hope he did ok. He can’t afford another malpractice suit.
@iamburtjarvis: [spelling bee] judge: your word is serendipity. me: can you use it in a sentence. judge: sure. gary googled the word serendipity.
@thepunningman: Dr "Do you want the good news or the bad news?" Patient "Good" Dr "You have 6 months to live" P "What's the bad news!?" Dr "...in dog years"