@wolfpupy: if i was the one who drove the titanic i bet i could have hit at least 3 ice bergs before it sank
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@thenatewolf: *holding my crying child* Me: I know, earthquakes are scary. So maybe next time you'll be good and I won't have to make that happen again.
@gwatts77: If I donate blood and you're in an unfortunate circumstance of needing it don't blame me for never being able to pass a drug test again.
@JediGigi: Hot guy just walked up to me and said I was pretty so naturally I pulled out a Sharpie and drew a star on his forehead.