@wolfpupy: if i was the one who drove the titanic i bet i could have hit at least 3 ice bergs before it sank
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@austen_420: Rules for meeting a puppy: 1 be cool 2 pet it 3 do not steal it 4 stop running from the owner 5 put it down 6 this isn't worth jail time
@_ElvishPresley_: [riding crowded elevator] Me: jeez louise, how many stops is this thing gonna make Jeez Louise: five
@WheelTod: I like to stand by the side of the motorway holding a sign that says "If you were me, you'd be here now."