@CubanaMama82: If I wasn't supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn't have made it taste so good with orange juice.
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@TheToddWilliams: [interview] BOSS: So I see you majored in communication? ME: No…miscommunication BOSS: Your resume clearly says communication ME: See?
@dulcetry: I know we haven't talked in awhile but I've been thinking about us a lot and I was wondering if u remembered the name of that burrito place
@Shadrach451: I refuse to stay at a Holiday Inn until they publicly specify what holiday they are referring to.
@einsteinsexual: You say tomato soup. I say ketchup soup. Cause the three year old won't eat tomato soup.