@tarashoe: if i were a cab driver, i'd scream "ROAD TRIP" every time i got a passenger
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@wickedblondeone: I just found a quarter in the vending machine, if anyone is looking for a sugar mama.
@OBiiieeee: Took a poop without my phone. Had no idea what to do with my hands. Did the Macarena. What a day.
@NikatNiteNite: My dog barks for 2 reasons: 1. When somewhere in the world another dog is barking. 2. When somewhere in the world no other dog is barking.
@ThePawfessor: eating red meat increases your chances of dying by 13%. i now have a 113% chance of dying.